so what's next?

the battery bar on my pod has turned into a threatening thin red warning sign. i hope it'll last till i'm home. needed the sheer company of music to refrain my mind from drifting to some where i don't want it to go. the voice within me sang along loudly with bright eyes, my neck stretched a little, brows frown a little, as i sang my heart out silently in the train.

don't you realise when you want something badly, so badly that the rest of the world around you would turn into a complete unimportant mess? and you would stand alone under the glaring mr. bean spot light looking out for it, oblivious to the chaos around you, and willingly allow the beautiful world to pass you by? and you are so ever ready to sacrifice to have it, even if it's for a little while.

and after what seemed like a forever chase and look out, you finally saw what you wanted from afar, and race towards it, arms all ready for an overjoying embrace, only to realise that it is no longer what you had idealistically imagined it to be. when you finally got close, close enough to see the glaring flaws of it, the perfect dream shattered quietly. that something isn't entirely what you really wanted. then the embrace loosen with disappointment. you look at it, trying to find compromising reasons to accept its flaws, but you knew you couldn't deep in yourself.

yet, you're thankful for the journey of waiting and seeking, glad about the experience gained in the searching process. the search that kept you going, that kept you breathing all this while. then, your life suddenly come to a momentary pause, the unimportant mess resume its move nevetheless, dancing pass you, and you thought: wait, what's next? to pursue another dream & run this same searching race again? pursue something else all over again, which potentially could end up like this disappointing finale? so, what's next?

and then you stand under the same mocking spot light, hoping the search didn't end this soon. what's next then?

the cliche truth is, the sun will still shine warmly the next morning, the moon still glisten the next night.

don't stop, yet, don't forget the beautiful world that revolves around you this time round, the wonderful people around you, the other things that would light up smiles on your face if you slow down to notice. knowing that those people and things that you had taken for granted, are those that had kept you alive, the "unimportant mess" that you neglected in the race.

didn't you notice the angel above you that glides along your searching race, spreading its majestic wings of protection over you?

so, don't be afraid to run again. do not fear.

if i actually made sense here.